Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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