what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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