Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
