I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
