I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
