apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
