"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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