My room smells like vodka and shame
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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