Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
