I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
