I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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