I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
