but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
