she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
im on a boat
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