is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
