DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
