she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
