I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
