How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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