I feel like abortions should bother me more
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
