ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
