I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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