Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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