Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
