Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wish I only lived at night.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
