Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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