He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
