dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
