Cold hands, warm shart.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
