Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
