I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
