I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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