Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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