Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just high enough for therapy.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
