How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
