You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
