He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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