before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
