I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
