New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
