you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
