I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How drunk are you?
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