i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
