come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
how drunk are you?
Several
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
