The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
