i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
