as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
