mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
