it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
