Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
